Thursday, October 13, 2005


It's hard to believe, but exams really are over. But gone is the great release of tension that accompanies the end of the last paper. Stepping out of the hall into a world covered in a bleak sky, I wonder why the bright sun of liberation stays hidden above the clouds.

Don't mistake me; I'm not commenting on my feelings, which are, predictably, relief combined with anticipation. But the capricious weather is so moronically, well, capricious, that it puts a dent on the post-exam euphoria that I inevitably feel. I do feel deflated, however. The vast mad mugging climaxed in the showdown on tuesday, where the twin giants of core math and history merged in apocalypse. Apocalypse was averted, fortunately, and after the last word was written the exams were effectively over. After all, only one subject remained, spread out in two days. So all the tension radiated into formless limbo, and my unconscious was torn as to whether to impose upon my unwilling mind euphoria or concentration. I admit it seemed to choose the former, which, of course, resulted in the tension evaporating slowly instead of in the pleasurable rush of more traditionally-scheduled exam timetables of yester (and yester-yester^n) year.

Today didn't exactly help either, because I found that there is a large possibility of me losing at least five marks over an unfortunate oversight. So, packing up, listening with half an ear to Mr Chew's last moments of unconditional omnipotence up on stage, some of that post-exam relief vanished upon hearing the (suprised?) exclamations of "no, I didn't get that answer" several times over in unanimous ferocity, whereupon I felt a strong temptation to keel over and beat the ground with my fists.

(I shall now use this oppurtunity to state that my POD textbook was also unfinished, but that it now is and is inside the pigeonhole.)

But Locke did postulate that the universe is empirical in nature, so as all empirical observation indicates, the exam is over, and so I'll not need to worry about trying to convince myself that I've been most productive to-day. But that ideally remains an idealized day-to-day resolution. I'll keep it in mind.

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